See. Listen. Smell. Feel.

And so, many things has been happening in my life. There is a new he – Mr Fudge, for sometime now. Things are moving forward. One thing leads to another and we’ve decided to merge our living pads together. So, here we are (again!) in search of a new kosenrufu apartment. (My current apartment served quite well its purpose as a kosenrufu apartment I must say)

Here’s the list of ‘requirements’ – not all are must-haves but some nice-to-haves (I am not so picky!):

1. Near to tram/metro station – easily accessible for chanting session/ meetings

2. Two bedrooms – for our families and dear guests from faraway

3. Big living – to fit both our sofa sets

4. Old Brussels Style apartment with wooden flooring, high ceilings – for the European living experience

5. Quiet area with lots of green

6. A garden which need no gardening

7. Modern kitchen

8. Lotsa sunlight!

9. Flamant Colours on the walls – one of Mr Fudge’s obsessions

10. Possibility to hang 2 ceiling lamps

11. Private entrance – one of my obsessions, influence by the last apartment we visited

12. Victorian style water tap

13.

14.

… Lastly, it all has to come within our budget. Fixed price.

After 10 apartment visits, non which has completely everything though the last came pretty close except for the darkness, its location (on the busiest street) and most of all, its way beyond our budget, I thought that we’ll probably have to settle for the second best. Mr Fudge has much more patience because it was of 50 visits before he selected his current apartment! Phew. I thought I’ll never be able to get thru this. It just drives me crazy thinking of all the time and energy this whole thing takes.

And work has not been going extremely smoothly either. Been at heads on with my boss. Let’s leave that for another tête-a-tête but I’d just like to say that I am really glad (ehem, thanks to my boss) that I am not travelling these 2 weeks.

Last Thursday, I organised a chanting session with dear Claire and Vero at my place. Coincidentally, all of us are in search for our kosenrufu apartment. So we chanted with the same ichinen and I chanted just simply to find the RIGHT apartment (No, I didn’t recite my long list of requirements).

And on Friday (as usual!) we were 20 mins late for our appointment. We thought the housing agent would have left, didn’t even have a number to call but what the heck, let’s just try our luck. When we arrived, we were ushered in quickly by a charming lady into this lovely apartment. It looked like there was a little party going on. After few moments of confusion, the lady, Grace understood that we were not friends of her friends but potential tenants visiting the apartment. It was a funny moment. She was slightly suprised by our presence as she didn’t remembered making any appointments but nevertheless, ever ready to show us around. And man, I had goosebumps visiting the apartment. It has ALL our criterias – 1, 2, 3… and fitted our budget right on the dot!

We took it on, of course! It is lovely, I tell you. Right in front there is a green green park, right behind there is a tram stop. Even, coincidentally two empty spots with no lamps – just right for us.

The whole experience just renewed and boosted my faith a hundred times over. I believe in the end, its not the matter of the material gain (the apartment) but the invaluable gain of actual proof again and again to remind us the power of Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo.

Especially for me, this moment is definately very defining. Sometimes after years of practice, we do tend to become complacent about faith. So this small taste of victory is definately a call and an encouragement to me for other greater missions in my life (though I am still quite lost and in the searching phase but I am going to strut forward!!!).

Say, everything happens for a reason. Believe it or not!

How did I do? Actually, I don’t think it takes a geek for this. Anyone can do it.

Step 1: Look for the ‘extra’ codes that the hackers inserted. Check the date and make a mental note.

Step 2: Do a manual wordpress upgrade. Check those files that you are not suppose to delete according to wordpress upgrade instructions. If they were edited on the same day the ‘extra’ codes were inserted, mostly likely you’ll find the codes there as well. Clean em up!

Step 3: Proceed with the manual wordpress upgrade.

Step 4: Change password. Make it as complicated as you can. Capital letters. Small letters. Numbers. Signs.

Step 5: Also check your FTP access. Make sure there is no anonymous access allowed. Set all accounts with complicated passwords.

Tada! (Cross my fingers that my blog will not be hacked again)

If you have got some good tips, please bring it on.

This blog has been taking my time. Loads of it. Because it was hacked. Sigh. Took a lot of efforts to clean it up. So much so that it took away all energy and inspiration to write. Désolé!

Just to keep alive!

Michael Jackson 1958 – 2009.

Not really because of the media, but more of my reminiscence from all the years (in fact almost all my life), I have been thinking and reading up a lot about Michael. And of course, listening to his songs. It disgusted me how much my perception over the years has been molded by what the media has orchestrated. I recalled though when I was young, I could never get enough watching the video of Thriller and listening to Beat It.

After reading up about his life, I do feel his pain. Being someone having so much to give and I guess wanting perfection, Michael sadly had a couple of unfortunately incidents in his life which I believed, combined with the pressure of the media drove him till the tipping point.

Michael didnt yearn to be white. He had no choice because he was suffering from a chronic skin decease called Vitiligo which causes depigmentation in patches on his skin. The common treatment use for patients suffering from Vitiligo lightens the skin tones which explained why Michael became all of a sudden, almost a white man. It wasn’t his choice. I recalled now, that I read in the media during that period reporting on MJ’s crazy complete body skin tattoo to transform himself which was of course bollocks. I think these untrue remarks about Michael hurted him a lot. He is still human, maybe even a very sensitive one in emotions due to all the limelights and expectations of his gift.

Across different years, Michael also had couple of accidents. One where he broke his nose during a practise. He had to undergo numerous rhinoplasty as the accident had him with difficulties in breathing which can be quite an obstacle for his singing career. That explains why he had to had the multiple nose job done. And so very often, we see how the media sneer at the fallen nose etc. He also, during a Pepsi Cola commercial filming, endured a second degree burn on his scalp when his hair caught fire.

I think as a public figure, physical appearence must be very key. I would if it was me to be perfect for the world. I do not mean to yearn to be the most beautiful or a having killer bod, but to be myself, my perfect self. Definately I would not wish for patching skin due to Vitiligo, but again, if sickness/ accidents bears upon us, what can we do? Karma.

I know its a lot of pain for Michael, maybe we will never know how much. But I wished or I had hoped that he had taken another path and not succumbing to all the weight in the world which is in the end insignificant, except for the deterioration to your dear self.

Somehow I think all that took toll on him and drove im down the road to perfection of his physical self which also causes mental stress.

BCC made a slideshow – ‘Michael Jackson – man & music’. I hear him. I feel a sensitive man.

And also, what I didn’t realise is that not only Michael sang about the helping the world, he really did try to help too. Thru different charities for different purposes.

I know, I only talked about the goodness. We had also heard throughout the years, some terrible stories about Michael. I do not judge because I do not have the right to. Its his life. But I believe, deep down in everyone there is certainly exist goodness. Question is, how do we manifest this goodness (potential)?

Oh, but Michael, you have given so much to us! Thank you and rest in peace.