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2 November 2008
Elephant Interaction - Zimbabwe

While we were waiting for the elephants, we took in the breathtaking view surrounding us. Its a part of the Zambezi River, 4th longest river in Africa, flowing into the Indian Ocean. Tranquility.

Here I said, Jumbo, talk to me and he stuck out his tongue. A cheeky dude!

A Baby Elephant rolling up his little trunk.

Jumbo showing off his backward walk. Farewell Jumbo!

I once heard a story. Over and over again. Told to me in different ways. But always there is the similarity. I have also had my fair share of such.

The typical story was told once again to me some days ago. A friend was caught in a cyber frenzy with a man from faraway land, engaging in chats religiously every night. Sometimes he was a friend. Sometimes he was a mystery. Sometimes he was the lover. Sometimes he missed her. Sometimes he wanted to hug her. But the problem is, during all those times, he has a girlfriend, faithful beside him. Still.

From there on, I could almost tell the story on. It is always the same old tale.  They have been dating for a while. She’s a nice girl but she’s not the one for him. They were having issues. Compatibility. Depression. Bla. Bla. Bla.

He is attracted to my friend. One very attractive, smart and admirable girl. He wants to get to know her better. He asked always, when can we see each other again. Bla. Bla. Bla.

BUT he can’t leave his girlfriend. She needs him. She’s nice. Bla. Bla. Bla.

Get the idea now? Sounds familiar?

Oh well, then the bombshell came that she’s actually not just a girlfriend, its his fiance and the wedding is for next summer.

And my friend says, “WHY?”. Why does one do that? Isn’t that a sort of betrayal to his fiance? All those time spent on lovey dovey talks late into the night with someone else.

Personally, I think on one hand, it is very selfish of the person. But perhaps sometimes we are just not concious of our actions or just living in oblivion? I guess it’s another form of human weaknesses and we try taming our conciousness by doing all the wrong things.

But I just said, nabeh, if he is so compassionate, ask him to join UN and save more life la!

On a serious note, I believe we only live once, and what becomes of our lives is determined by us, ourselves. Do I marry someone because of responsibility or do I marry for love? I’ll do it for love because of the love of me!

Recently, I realised after some self reflection that I am not expressing as well as I would wish to. I could be more eloquent in my speech.

Generally, I am more nervous than usual. Is it just me or due to the thyroid? I am going to do a blood test today, just to be sure.

But there so many things I want to shout to the world, I can do it well with words in writing but how do I translate it to words verbally? Mmm.

I think I need to think slower and be less excited. A zen version of me.

How can I do this? Send me some ideas.

Sometimes I feel stupid, I feel like I am being mocked, I feel like I am not with my best,  I feel all wrong, I feel blocked, suffocated… - I must not let it overwhelmed me, but I must grit my teeth and clench my fist and keep believing in me.  Let’s let the waves of negativity passby. Just keep focusing on my goals, and keep doing better and better and better…

So many thoughts passes thru my mind. Did the person do it in spite or ignorantly? I choose now to believe in the later. There must be a reason for all of these that I am going thru. Most of all, I must emerge a victor within in my own life after this episode. A struggle of mind which I think is one of the most difficult obstacle to us human kind. At least for me.

Keep believing - with right purpose, the innate potential is limitless, just waiting for the right time and moment to arrive,  to be in full bloom.

Number ONE rule I’ve set for myself - stop bitching and start chanting

Let’s forge the indestructive self who beams with joy boundlessly!

Winter has just arrived. Brrr.

Listen!