Posts from — August 2008

Don’t ask me for music reviews please - head to www.harpylistens.com for that.

Though on Day 1, I missed Mika but caught glimpse of Lenny Kravitz as I was arriving, absolutely loved the live video mix of REM but knew none of their new songs and even stayed up late to watch Chemical Brothers in action.

On Day 2, we missed pretty much due to the need of a real hot shower after being soaked to the bones on Day 1 and for some absolutely mandatory shopping for Wellington boots in Brussels. Still, we managed to be back for a wild night with some new found friends who rolled us some joints and taught us ‘Jump Style’ with Hot Chips jamming on the background.

Day 3 was the highlight of the entire event – Radiohead! With all our ‘kiasu-ism’ combined, we squuezed ourselves in thru the crowd to put ourselves right up next to the stage. It was still 3 performances to go before Radiohead. But I DID really enjoyed those 3 performances, namely by Kings of Leon, Ben Harper and the very eccentric icelandic Sigur Ros. That was before we got squashed and peed on. So, we had to give up before sacrificing ourselves into becoming chinese meatballs and therefore, we headbanged ourselves 100 metres away from Radiohead Anyway, I didnt know any of the songs they played that night. I was hoping for them to play Creep but someone told me, ah, that is sooo outdated la.

I didnt remembered much of who played on Day 4. Either I was running out of energy or I was too busy collecting souvinirs – free giveaways from the event sponsors. Hah! I loved the army caps from Belgacom. A couple of my colleagues joined us that day. We goofed about the entire afternoon with an afro wig and one too many beers.

Ah yea, if you want a food review for Werchter ‘08, you can ask to me

Mmm, I would do this all over again next year and again and again, if you would ask me. It was loads of fun. Even if I had backache from sleeping in the tent, no showers but sort-of-self-cleaning with icy water from a public tap and totally grossed out from what I see in the toilets. What an experience!!!

My blog was hacked! It kept redirecting itself to a Russian site.

I am glad I managed to bring it back up. How did I do it? Easy! I decided instead of requesting for a rollback to Blue Host, where I will lose all the posts and precious comments after Aug 9 – I did an upgrade of wordpress on my own. Luckily, that works!

But its amazing to see how they managed to tamper individually through all my files.

Somethings puzzling me. Of late, I’ve been having drinking binge which ends me up crying in the night. Most of the time, I do not remember the episode but the swollen eyes in the mornings tells. I asked me, am I unhappy?

The thing is I do not think so. Things are going pretty well for me so far. It had been difficult and at many times, it seemed impossible and endless BUT I’ve managed somehow to put my life back in order. Almost, at least. My apartment is still very empty. I’ve got tonnes of official letters and documents in languages that I need to decipher which is quite a pain indeed. Otherwise, I am enjoying my hours searching thru the many stores in Brussels for the right furnitures. And also loving living in Brussels. The summer drinks. The nights out. The people. I think I am coping quite well.

But pondering upon myself deeper, I guess, somehow, somewhere, it still hurt a lot. Everything I had came for initially just dispersed like a dream. Into nothingness. It was not a long time ago, I remembered myself full of love, my face radiant with happiness and enthusiatically looking forward to living my life with the one. Feeling like I was the luckiest girl on earth. I gave everything of me. And in everything eventually I found there was nothing. I guess that’s the part that hurt the most.

Sometimes I do ask myself, what could I have done to make that life perfect? Could it had been different? Then I tell myself, this is life. Another chapter close. A new one to start. There is no point pondering in the past and all the what-ifs in life.

Like in every relationship that comes to a closing, I don’t believe in finding blame on one another. There may be things that both of us has done wrong and also right. Life is about choices. We once choosed to be together, it didnt worked out and now we choose to continue our life paths going in separate ways. Being together didnt bring out the best in us.

But the hurting part is, it was over so easily and there is no longer signs of the love or care for one another. Is falling out of love as easy as for one to fall in love? Was it love at all? Everything we had before seems so superficial now. Was it just a conditional love? Are all these pain due to my little hurt ego or a broken heart? Did we try hard enough? So many unanswered questions. But they are no longer important. All I need is time to heal. Forgive and forget.

As time goes by, one relationship after another, I learn the tricks of love. The key is unconditional loving. That is how it should be.

But easier said than done. I guess we often try to protect ourselves from hurt. And especially for me now after a fresh break up, I know with the next man I meet I will have the tendency to subconciously love carefully, not love unconditionally. Alas, at least I am aware of it, I could do my best to do it right.

Somethings I just can’t talk about, only to write it out.

So baby, please be patient with me.

Sorry for the long silence. One thing is still no internet access at home. The other, I haven’t really got the time. Just got back from my long trip home. Part business, part personal (the weekends). It was great to be home again. Great to be home during Mega sale too

Overall, it was really good to be home, to spend quality time with my parents and good friends. To create once again memorable moments which we can laugh about in the next 5, 10, 20 years to come. Like sleeping with 4 on (or in) the grand bed of The Ritz. Or like watching Ms Teh really really drunk (and missing out listening to the croons of her karaoke peeps).

Oh yea, my ma threw a small potluck-pohpiah party. Small, she said. So I tried to keep the count of invitees as low as possible. But lo and behold, her small meant a party of 50 people. LOL. It was another great evening. I guess, that’s how things have also been in the Teh’s residence. I just can’t wait for our annual Chinese New Year party next year!

I spend 2 days in Singapore too (for work). Managed to squeeze in sometimes to see my goddaughter (who made reference to me as ’Aunty’ and Yeni as ‘Godma’). Ok, I must admit I didnt spend much time with her all these while. So am gonna do more of that (and also sneak her some goodies too). For sure but only for a short 30 mins, I reunite with my baby, Nam. Its either he is throwing a tantrum at me for not visiting him or he has forgotten his mommy Next trip, I’ll make it a day out at Sentosa for him.

Time is always too short whenever I am home. I only managed to catch a few good buddies for a quick drink before leaving to the airport.

What made this trip? The unique beauty of Kuala Lumpur, I must say. Apart from the very very high cost of living (In my mind, I am still living in Malaysia in 1999 when a bowl of wanton mee is only RM2.20), I must say KL has evolved to be a very wonderous city. Admist the hustle and bustle of a rapidly growing economy, there’s the warm and friendly inhabitants, buildings and likes of ultra modern, and standing still, spread out all over the city, still are the remains of the past. I had the taste of the mouth watering Jalan Alor’s Char Siu Fan, all set in a very old fashion and very messy old shophouse. It was nostalgic, the round marble table, the wooden stools, the trembling loud lunch chatters and occasional shouts of orders. Oh, how I have missed home!