I've got the sun in my eyes

Ramblings

Moodz : Lost within my soul

I am so empty with emotion now. Just pure emptiness.

I had a great weekend nevertheless, except for the nagging bits in the back of my subconciousness mind which I tried but can’t help to avoid.

Spent the weekend in Phuket with Ms YN, Ms P and Ms SM. It was indeed great, well spent weekend. We left on Friday evening, arrived there just in time for dinner. Did a bit of pub crawling and retired for the night.

Next day, the girls wanted to do the bungee jump except me as I was having a throbbing migraine (truthfully I was scared out of my wits but after watching them, I wished that I could do it and have some good laughs!) Thereafter we went for Thai massage and then a very light dinner.

Went to Patong to catch a couple of drinks and ended up having a nice time playing games and boobies :)

Sunday was well spent, soaking myself under the fabulous sun and occasionally dipping into the great waves of salt water. I am red all over now.

Admist all these, I never stopped to wonder, has he arrived? Is he doing ok? Entertaining himself? I think I called hundreds of times. Sent messages.

But all to no avail.

Till today, I never stopped hoping, wondering, visualising the moment which we will meet.

Till the moment, Mr Ar innocently mentioned that he was there. My heart dropped a million miles beneath sea level, my hands shooked and I turned pale. Reality sets in. I was the joke. And the feeling was immensedly dissapointing.

A foolish girl I have been.

And at that moment, something died within me without me understanding.

Nor that I wished to know more.

But I look for the next sunrise.

** She stares far and away, emptiness in the eyes.

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